Anticipation of Delivery...

Okay, so we got the call today to come and pick up our official proposal packets! As I headed off to our social worker's office, I txt MT and asked if I should wait to open them.
He promptly txt back: No, I know it will kill you, go ahead.
Thankfully a long conversation with our worker delayed me and then for some reason, I just couldn't open them yet.
On the drive home MT txt again saying: Have you opened it yet? If not, I would love to be there for the 'birth' of A and C.
Of course I cried (and seem to keep crying) so here I am awaiting his return home...
Goodness I love that man!

Here We Go...

I think I've worked up the courage to write an update. I've felt a little funny writing about something that hasn't happened yet, like I might be jinxing something. However, I'm reading a good book, "The Weaver's Craft" that suggests adoptive parents have just as much need to nest and plan and share joy as those expecting a child by birth. So even though I don't tip the scales during this labour, I'm coming to terms with the very real idea that we are in fact 'expecting'!

There's no doubt that we're excited (and a bit nervous) as we're anticipating the placement of 2 children into our family! A 5-month-old boy, C and his 3-year-old sister, A. At this point we have meet with their worker and answered questions regarding our greatest concerns. We saw pictures of C, and wow is he cute! We should receive their 'official proposal' in the next week! At this stage if we continue to say yes, we'll bring home baby in about a month. His sister will likely follow by the end of summer. They are both fair skinned with dark black hair and amazing big brown eyes thanks to their Cree heritage - so beautiful!

I've set up the old crib and we've purchased a couple twin beds from a neighbor for a 'girls room'. Yes, all of this while we're trying to sell our house and move. We know from the outside looking in it looks like bad timing, but kids never come when it's convenient, so why should this be any different? The move is essential to our future as we're moving within the catchment of a fine arts school that will allow all of the kids to explore all of their possible talents. We're also moving for walkability to hiking and nature as we've found that if we have to drive to hike then we only do it on the weekend, when and if we have time. So while this year will be full of change, we anticipate that this will be a settling in to the next 18 years as our kids make their way through the school system.

K & H have been expressing their excitment and apprehension as well. For the first time, K admitted he had some concerns. The first was an easy one, 'Will I have to change diapers?' I promised him no. The second was not so easy, 'What if you spend too much time with the new kids?' So, we've been talking about how much they'll need when they first come home and we agreed that he'll be strong enough to tell us when he needs more attention and I'll try extra hard to make sure we have snuggle time every day.

Interestingly, he came back a few hours later to say that he might want to try changing a diaper - what a kid!

Keep us in your happy thoughts and we'll let you know more as we can.

Waiting for Life to Slow Down

I know it's been a long time since I've posted. Lots of reasons, but the main thing is that we're waiting for me to complete my student teaching, which is taking me out of the home full-time.

For obvious reasons, my being out of the home is not conducive to a good adoption transition.

I'll walk in my graduation ceremony next weekend at Concordia in Portland. It will have officially taken 6 years for me to complete my 2-year masters program! Ah well, I will be finished with student teaching Jan 15 and then... who knows!

Thanks to all of you who are keeping watch enough to write and ask what's happening. We hope things will take a more definite path in the coming year.

We'll certainly be sure to let you all know our progress.

Happy holidays to all.

The Waiting...

So I'll probably be able to speak on this with much more authority later, but I'm finding some of the thoughts about adopting to be similar to pregnancy and fertility thoughts.
I took the kids to the aquarium yesterday, which was amazing as usual! The baby beluga was so incredible and the obvious attachment of mother and child, even though they aren't able to hold onto one another, is very strong.
I found myself constantly noticing children who didn't look like their caregivers and I had to rethink that they could be their parent and not just a nanny, auntie, etc. It was a bit like being pregnant or trying to get pregnant and everywhere you go there are pregnant mothers and babies.
I wonder if the new child that comes into our life will have experienced things like our children have thus far. Will he have been to the science centre, aquarium, camping, beaches, etc.? Will she have been in ballet or swim class? Will he sit on my lap while we read stories? Will she be scared of our dogs? Will we be boring compared to life in a city, on a farm, or on the island.
Lots and lots of questions. I can't wait to learn the answers.

Initial Session - All Systems Go!

So we attended our first official adoption information session tonight and learned A LOT about what to expect in the coming months/year. We were quite fortuitous and got to meet our social worker, who's intelligence and honesty we really appreciated. Out of 3 couples we were the only with children in our home already.

There was a lot of talk about infertility that brought me back to the days we were trying to conceive our first and the emotional roller coaster of it all. We talked about adoption before we ever started treatment. We were quite comfortable with it then. I think that and both of our own histories around adoption make us very open and natural about the idea of expanding our family this way. The next step will be a series of Adoption Education classes (hopefully in May), then a 'home study' and then possibly placement of a child!

We didn't leave enough time to eat in our planning, and as such survived on Starbucks and pastries throughout the 3-hour evening meeting. By the time we got home (after 10) and chatted with our friend who'd stayed with the kids, we'd somehow forgotten entirely about eating - chatted a bit and went to bed - we woke up starving!

As we've already discussed our own boundaries and initial thoughts at length, we're excited to submit our initial application to adopt through the ministry and are eager about the journey ahead. We'll be learning and balancing a lot of options. Emotions have already been a factor for myself, and I'm sure there are many more highs and lows to come.

Side note: Obama was in Ottawa yesterday - good omen - proud to be AmeriCanadian

Labours of Love: Canadians Talk About Adoption by Deborah A. Brennan - A Book Review

Wow! I can't imagine what it took to compile this book both emotionally and physically. It includes perspectives from all sides of the adoption world. Adoptees, adoptive parents, step-adoptees, birthparents, social workers, private and public adoption... If adoption has touched your heart, this book will do the same.

Brennan pored her heart into this and it is clearly evident in the final product. The family stories could each stand beautifully on their own. She has a natural story-teller style and yet, journalistically stays true to the people who she's interviewed. 20 adoption stories and each one beautifully and simply told.

Each story brought me to tears, smiles and laughter and eager to read the next. Serving each story separately offers you the ability to pick the book up and put it down when you have a moment to spare in your hectic life. Additionally, each story has amazing pictures that really show the love of the diverse families she has chosen to feature.

The book completes with 7 professional perspectives on adoption, its history, and its future specifically in Canada, but relevant to all. These are again diverse in their opinions and focus. I finished this book feeling I had an amazing picture of adoption as a whole. Each story featured was unique, but with uniting themes of love and openness being key to the understanding of adoption. Should you pick it up for yourself, Dr. Michael Grand, one of the last professional accounts featured, has an amazing and unique understanding of adoption that resonates perfectly with my own experience.

As a 'step-adoptee' myself and now starting on the course of becoming an adoptive parent, it valued my own many emotions and personal connections with adoption. It certainly resonated with my own motherhood experience and the seemingly obvious concept that family is love and children from any background can't have too much of it.

As adoption in Canada and throughout the world continues to change, I hope Brennan will keep her finger on the pulse of those changes and continue to compile adoptions stories and compile yet another book of people's journeys toward family, openness, and love.

Martian Child - Go Rent It

How did I miss this when it was in the theatre? I picked it up after it was noted as an adoption resource. The beauty of the movie is that it's based on a true story and if you rent the DVD, they interview the real martian child, Dennis and his dad, David as one of the special features.

If you're a softy, you'll need a box of tissues. My 6-year-old watched it with me and loved it. He had great questions afterward and even sat with me again as I watched the commentaries for another 2-hours. When I took the DVD back to the rental store, he asked if we could buy it! Funny, we had rented Hulk as well, but he wanted to keep Martian Child - what a kid!

If you're looking for a fast mover, this isn't it, but the story is beautifully crafted and very insightful. I was never bored, but I was incredibly wrapped up in the story. The producers took great care to display the realities of the adoption process as well as the love that is formed between parent and child. On a simply human level, it will resonate with anyone who may have been a little different growing up - even if it was just in your own mind. You will love this weird little boy and maybe if you do have room in your life, it will open your mind to the possibilities.

Great intellectual humor and wit throughout. Rent it - I dare you!